sunny sunday

feel like writing today. sunny outside with moderate heat. Lovely~

just thinking i might need to record down liked/ dis-liked items for my life dated 8 May 2011 (Sun).. see them change and let me review =)

(unprioritized)

1. time at home.. i'll need lots of time 'hea-ing' & 'hea-ing'.. doing nothing but at the same time doing everything, all the cleaning houseworks

2. continuous interest in middle east study... had the 1st HKU Space course last Wed... factual historical lessons.. very narrative but very enjoyable. syria, lybia, egypt, iran, iraq, yemen, jordan... i am getting to know you all better.... wish i am never too tired to explore...

3. the apple products ..quite dissappointed to see most of the HK-ese touching & 'sliding' the big screen each and every moment. internet is now around us but we don't need it all the time. iPhone messages pop up & down funnily.. but don't forget to talk using own mouths & eyes... i start to love more primitive and 'retarded' society. poland is a good example. people hold books and newspaper in 1-2 hours travel journey. aren't them wise time-spender?

4. continuous interest in sketching... thanks for giving me a verbal lesson in west rail to TM... that helped incredibly! white paper & dark pencil create different faces.. the angle of my palm give them lives & individualism.... hard to explain but amazing! must keep it on .

5. concern about women status in Afghan. it's all the way my dream. this dream should never die.

6. facebook free of new born babies..... i was once a kid so i don't particularly hate them but just don't prefer them. friends, including 'friends' on facebook, please keep me out from all the babies' photos.... friends, keep me out from those pregnancy news.... i am too flooded.
yet, i know i can be motherly one day... hahhaaa

will add to the list

年誌

hello. i am back here again.

ok a punishment for not having frequent update, chinese input is not enabled now... shit

recently i have been thinking about the word 'advancement'... this is a word introduced by a friend of friend. sort of agreeing but there are doubts.
how can one define 'advancement'? it means differently on each person
it is definitely important to lifes but what is it actually? to me, it's 10-20 pages of book everyday. that's it, no MBA degree, no after-work courses, .. already more than sufficient

this year a dream comes up out of my head. thanks to the book 'unreasonable behavior'
deeply drawn into the world of battles/ battle photography/ middle east/ taliban/afghanistan...etc
this is the plan, a OL-life for extra 4 years, change to a part-time casual labour & start this - producing photos on a project basis, volunteering in women organization for third countires...
"omg, this is crazy, be practical ....." he said
i know it but pls respect my dream

hi there

26 Apr 09 (Sun)

again... bt...another 4 months abandoned. anyway, i pick this up finally.. good job

i was given a whole-week-free time

i finished the book which i bought 5 years ago.. yes, was able to read up to the page no. 244! in the last 2 hours, i achieved it!!

i stayed home and cleaned everything exposed to air... this has become my weird habbit since Jan this year. Sweeping and rubbing make me feel good and contented.... i am addicted to these actions.

i saw grandma though i made myself invisible to parents... what the hell i am doing? i'd love to hear their voices but am reluctant to see their faces ..... maybe it's not the good time to chat about 'run down' 'rings' 'gowns' etc. let's leave it till later.

i emailed with boss. his spoken english is never easy for me to understand in office... everything changes if we email to each other. people tend to become caring and easy-going on the net, email is a great invention indeed.

back to my first activity: finishing a book called 'how to be good' by nick hornby
will surely fail if i were asked to draft a book report . can't really tell what the plot is as i kept forgetting details... i love it though ... i remember i loved it while reading... it reflects parts of me ... being mean & demanding... but sometimes lost & stupid

聖誕快樂

感動！多謝關小姐

08年聖誕，氣氛欠奉，平安夜最叫人興奮的是可以在平日車水馬龍的大馬路上遊走。抱著人行我行，人睇我睇心態，做了個多小時隨波逐流式港人......最後還是自命清高地提早離場。「果d咁0既燈飾，其實究竟有乜好睇！？」明年這時，識趣的還是待在家中安逸得多。


翌日

你們有同感嗎？當看到餐室裡左鄰右里的一家大小，小孩在狹小椅子爬上爬落，掙脫媽的手不肯吃飯時，我首先是皺眉，接著是觀望那對父母表情，最後應是轉頭去尋找街景。

輪到我了
不要小孩像廿年前的我，7人睡300尺斗室，打地鋪，面壁天花躺上格。是負責任的承諾還是膚淺的藉口？

11月3日
哈哈，曾kk，多謝你捧場，連你的留言，我也遲了兩個多月才看到..

回來稍為看看之前幾篇，淚水又再次洗了雙眼，您豈能叫我勿念

一個人獨處，既無聊又充實.....要不是空閒，不會click到這個網；要不是看到日誌(不是日誌，是年誌)，不會在此發騷...能夠寫出感受，應該算是福份

之前離港數天，一回來就收到壞消息。我們不算朋友，勉強是同校同學，不過st. marian之間不難有一份親切感。上幾週才諸事看你的海灘相，怎料你在這麼短時間內竟做出震憾的決定。請安息，祝永遠快樂。

當時間飛到出年這個月份，暴躁、EQ低的我應該會在愁眉。怕皮膚差，怕裝修師傅手工劣，怕晚裝不稱身，怕親友討厭吃鴨，怕改變身份.....

好一個杞人，憂天憂地苦人苦己

一年

沒有刻意鋪排，剛剛丟低了這日記一年

爺爺，您好嗎？
我很好。

閒時看著朋友的日記，文字往往會激起了自己某種感覺，想了想，由得意念走過，感受流失....
還是早些睡吧，明天六時半請早

終於，擇了今天這個吉日，重新開始。

大學時代，粗俗地說：「係乜叉都寫一餐」哪時起床、午餐菜單、誰出新歌.....無無聊聊也可以填滿一個版面
幾年過後，滿身煩惱，卻下知該寫些甚麼....

工作真的可以麻醉人，使人情感消失，太可怕

您沒有離開

是我忽略了，我忘記了時間會令你老去
這幾年，我認為自己長大，終於有能力照顧你，努力工作，努力為自己生活打算
不用你擔心
誰不知，你老去的速度是何等的高，遠遠拋離了我，我追不及

知道你病得辛苦，肉體累，精神更累，這幾個月，你已經不和我說話，不再問我的工作、生活
再也聽不到你的鼓勵說話
不用緊，覺個疲倦就休息吧
現在，沒有姑娘醫生騷擾你，再也不用打針、吃藥
你可以安安靜靜地睡著
睡醒後，看看四周，應該會見到你的老朋友，和他們談談吧
你們好久不見了，應該有無限話題
我在這個世界和你在一起的
將來我升職、生病、開心、傷心，結婚、生孩子
你也會知道